you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
