Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
