How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
