I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
