Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
