what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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