Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
