I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
are you so shy because you have an std?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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