I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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