question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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