i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
