And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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