I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
