oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
