Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
