ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
