Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
