Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
