just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
