3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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