I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
