Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
