you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
