yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
You ever have a fart follow you around?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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