im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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