Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
