theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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