Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
