I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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