Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
