"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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