I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
