We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize