He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize