He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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