how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
My feet surprised me
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
