No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
