1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
i need some magic done to my vagina
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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