How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
