I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
