happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
