yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I need to align my fucking chakras
its liver damage thursday
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
