Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
