i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
