It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
