It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
if only i could text you this smell
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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