Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
