So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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