WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
