My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
