I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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