i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
