Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
