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• (775): View more from Nevada

  My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.

  (1-614): View more from Ohio

  I'm not sure what to say to that.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  not the best booty call

  (1-217): View more from Illinois

  did she squirt?

  (217): View more from Illinois

  only if tears count

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• (386): View more from Florida

  Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  ...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant

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