I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I am naked and annoyed.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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