I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
