so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
