it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
