well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
