is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
