Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
