yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Randomize
