Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(682): View more from Texas

nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise

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(815): View more from Illinois

Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl

Fav 17 1388 936
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(813): View more from Florida

i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it

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(248): View more from Michigan

What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.

(810): View more from Michigan

I think you know the answer.

(248): View more from Michigan

How can I marinade myself in Vodka?

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(980): View more from North Carolina

How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.

Fav 17 6220 1634
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single

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