I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize