Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
