fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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