just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
