WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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