Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
